A few of the more eagle-eyed among you have noticed something different in my clip stores this week. I have an inbox full of messages along the lines of “OMG! Is that your real hair???!!!”
My hair is naturally curly. Yes, I grew it all by myself. I keep chopping it off but it seems to grow back in double the time. The colour comes out of a bottle, but the curls are home-grown. You can actually see in this hair washing clip, when I wet my hair you see the curls start to form. It’s not permed, it’s not done with rollers, and I think that’s obvious considering how wild my curls are. I like to call them Bellatrix Lestrange curls.
It’s my Medusa hair, and it has a life of its own. My hair has never been neat, by any stretch of the imagination. Even when it’s straightened you can see how thick it is, and it likes to stick up if I don’t keep a close eye on it. In a way, my hair reflects me: It does whatever the fuck it likes. I gave up long ago trying to make it look “proper” – for want of a better word – and now I cut and style it to bring out its wild side.
I do cut it myself! The last time I paid for a haircut was 2011. I went to a salon which had been recommended to me by a friend with curls of her own. The stylist cut my hair – wet, a big no-no with curls (google ‘shrinkage’) – and then asked me if I wanted it blow-dried or straightened. I’d gone in for him to cut my curly hair, so I said blow-dry. He blow-dried it straight. I was not happy. At that point I decided, well, I can pay £50 for someone to fuck my hair up or I can fuck it up myself. And I have, definitely, fucked it up before. My shoots with Zara DuRose were done a few months after I cut my hair far too short – again, google ‘shrinkage’ – but I’ve developed a good eye for it now.
So you might be wondering, why you’ve never seen my amazing curls before? When I first started on Streamate, I did actually cam with my curls in, but I got into the habit of straightening it. That felt like a lot less work, and I was still in the process of learning how to care for my hair properly. If the professionals don’t know what they’re doing, then you have to teach yourself, and like I said, sometimes, you fuck up. Eventually, having straight hair felt like a ‘Jessika’ thing to me. I’d been straightening it before cam for so long, that I didn’t feel like myself getting in front of a webcam without straightened hair.
On the other hand, as I got better at caring for my curls, having curly hair felt like a ‘me’ thing. I’d have days where I’d wake up, straighten my hair, cam, and then wet it and style it curly before going out to meet my friends. Just as you haven’t seen me until now with curly hair, I’m not sure my friends have ever seen me with straight hair! Thinking back, it’s quite odd that I had such a divisive line there. Jessika is me, and I am Jessika. When camming with me or watching my clips, you can well imagine how I interact with my friends. There was just something about the hair that I felt I needed to separate.
I had a bit of a block with clips last month, and I didn’t want to film much. I set aside a few days for filming and then never actually went into my studio. It took me a couple of weeks to work out what the problem was, what was killing my motivation: I’ve grown to love my crazy, wild curls so much, I didn’t want to straighten my hair. I didn’t want to drag a hot iron over my Medusa locks. So I didn’t. And now I’m happy filming again.
This isn’t to say that you’ll never see me with straight hair from now on, or that I don’t like straightening it sometimes. Occasionally it’s easier just to straighten it and be done with it. I do still plan on keeping it straight for Streamate – mostly because I don’t want to deal with hoards of “omg your hair” over and over in free chat. And I have, on Adultwork and CMD, occasionally cammed with curls before now. As with my domination, expect more of a mix depending on my mood.
But yes: The curls are real, and they’re just as wild and sexy as I am!